Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Powered by Gas!

Or maybe I should say "EMPOWERED" by Gas. I am FOUR - Hear me ROAR!!

It's amazing how the little things in life one discovers that gives them a feeling of superiority. Take "GAS", for example. It's one thing to know about it, and another to take control. For a long time when I was a little kid and I wanted to go to out, I'd scratch at the carpet, then on Mom's legs...and then I start talking non-stop so she couldn't hear her TV program and then she'd say, "Oh? You want to go to out?".

Now that I have the wisdom that comes along with being FOUR, I don't scratch...I don't paw! I don't even have to say a word. Nope! I very quietly hop onto the back of Mom's chair, position my body so my head is at the edge and my tail is in the middle..maybe about 6" from her nose. Then...slowly, silently....(OH I CAN'T STAND MYSELF...HEHEHEHEHEHEH! I AM BAAAAD to the BONE!)...I leak a little post-supper gas.

She goes "EEEEYEEEEW...OH, YOU STINK...ICK...UGH...HOW COULD YOU?" and then she sits up and fans the air. In a little bit, she takes a cautious, tentative sniff again and "OHHHH....GAWD....YOU ABSOLUTELY REEK!!" I'm doing the best I can to keep a straight face, here. This procedure usually gets the back door opened and, as I race for freedom, she calls out, "Make it snappy!". I'm pretty quick about it. Honestly, I might not really have to go out at all, but it's the IDEA of POWER that floats my boat. I HAVE THE POWER TO GET THE BACK DOOR OPEN! I like this very much!

Sometimes, just for fun because I like to yank her chain, I save up a little and let loose on the bed just as she starts to doze off. Yup! That gets her wide eyed and ready to rumble all over again.

I wonder what else I can do? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm??

Love, Mary-Margaret

4 comments:

MJ's doghouse said...

oh mary margaret you are a smart little lady...i do the same thing....and my back door is usually already open...i wont use the yard as a toilet...i like to go for an acutal walk....

Kimberly said...

I do the EXACT same thing Mary-Margaret! My mom calls it smelly butt but every night about 8:00 I let it loose and then laugh about it.

We girls are sooooooo much smarter than boys!

Love,

Hallie Ann

Anonymous said...

Hallo Mary-Margaret !
I enjoy your diary and besides - you look pretty good !
Greetings from an Austrian Yorkie-Boy also at the age of four !

SunnyLatinus said...

Hallo Mary-Margaret !
I enjoy your diary and besides, you look pretty good !
Best greetings from an Austrian Yorkshire Terrier Boy at the age of four !